Clarity
by Lady Katerina
Summary: I re-submitted It because of the mistake a ::cough:: Rinoa fan pointed out. I remind you it was 2 in the morning!! anyway..the fic for pplz who cant tell the difference between a Zelphie and a Quiefer w/out reading the fic first...again!


Disclaimer: I do not own any FF8 characters...blah blah blah...is that good enough? No ones gonna sue me?oh yeah...and I own the 10 bottles of Surge, bu6t not the company and I wish to pay tribute to them, cause...without them, I would have been asleep by Irvines turn.  
  
  
  
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This fic is for all the people who couldn't tell you the difference between a Quiefer and Zelphie without reading the fic.At first I was confuzzled too, but I got it eventually.Tell me if I leave out anything, or if this isnt original.Well...I hope you think its funny too...and I'm only gonna stick with the six main characters and Seifer's posse ((lol))..so..for all you Kirostis fans...sorry.  
  
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"Hiya everyone!!" Selphie waves at the crowd."Here I am...and its the middle of the Garden Festival, and My friend, Lady Katerina ((A/N: so....? the characters talk to me....and?)) wishes for clarity.Clarity about relationship nicknames! And soo...she let me come up here!!!" Many groans are heard from the crowd. Selphie seems not to notice this and continues. "And to help me...everyone, come on out!!" onto the stage enter Irvine, Quistis, Rinoa, Zell, Squall, Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin.All sit down, in that order, on eight chairs lined up for them.Selphie clapped her hands."O-kay!First, we'll begin with none other than....ME!" Snickers are heard from the crowd, and again Selphie fails to notice.  
  
"For starters, a romance fic about me and Irvine, is a Selphine.A romance fic about Quistis and I-" Quistis blushes furiously and looks shyly at Selphie. "-would be called a Selstis. Get it now?" Rinoa claps her hands "Yeah!" she yells "I do! and a fic with ME and Selphie is...... a Relphie or a Selphnoa?" Selphie thinks for a minute. "Selphnoa sounds better I think..so...a fic with me and Zell is the ever popular Zelphie." Zell grins and rubs his fingernails on his coat, followed by blowing on them and repeating the process. Selphie forges on "the very rare Squallfie is me and Squall, somethings I've never seen are the Selpher, with Seifer, the Selphjin, with Raijin, and the Selfuu, with Fujin." Fujin shifts uncomfortably in her seat."So there we have it, the Selphine, Selstis, Selphnoa, Zelphie, Squallfie, Selpher, Selphjin,and Selfuu."Selphie takes a bow and motions to Irvine to stand up, handing him a paper.   
  
Irvine steps up to the mike. Reading slowly down the list, he cringes. "Seffy? Err..I don't think there is or ever will be a Squalvine." Squalls stoic expression twitches. Selphie smiles. "I know Irvy, but just in case, you have to say it!" Irvine cringes again. "anything for a gal, I always say." he clears his throat and adjusts his hat "Alright then. we've gone over the Selphine. With Quistis its a Quirvine,with Rinoa its a Irvoa. With Zell-" cringe "-Its a Zellvine, and with -" wince "- Squall its a Squalvine. With Seifer -" cringe again "- its a Seifvine,and with raijinitsahraijvine-" Selphie stands up. "Irvy.." she warns. Irvine takes a deep breath "Raijin-Raijvine,and with Fujin its called a Fuvine." he sighs and hands the paper to Quistis. He casts an apologetic glance at Squall, and takes a seat.  
  
Quistis adjusts her glasses and begins to read. "You've heard of the Selstis and the Quirvine. If you were to pair me with-" a moan is heard, coming from the center of the Quad. "Instructor Trepe is miiiiiiiiine!!" there, Trepie groupies 2 and 3 are holding back a struggling groupie #1. Quistis cleared her throat "I do not belong to anyone, except for Squaresoft.As I was saying " a whimpering groupie #1 leaves the Quad "If I was to be paired with Rinoa, It would be a Rinostis.With Zell, a Zellstis.With Squall" a small smile "It is a Quall...or a Squallstis. With Seifer it is called a Quiefer and we know a lot of authors like that one." Seifer grins and runs his hand through his hair. "With Raijin it would be called Quisjin and with Fujin a Quisfuu."Quistis gives the paper to Rinoa and takes a seat.  
  
Rinoa jumps up with glee "Yay! My turn!!" she runs to the mike. "O-kay! There's the Selphnoa, Irvoa, and the Rinostis." she claps "If you authors would make me get all kissy-poo with Zelly...It would be a Zellnoa! And if I was cuddling with Squally...it's a Squinoa!" She runs over and gives Squall a kiss on the cheek, and runs back "O-kay!With Seifer-" a snicker is heard from behind her "Like THAT would ever happen again..." Rinoa sticks her tongue out a Seifer "I wouldn't snuggle with YOU cause youre a MEANIE!!!....but it would be called a Seifnoa.With Raijin its a Raijnoa, and with Fujin its a Rinfuu." Rinoa giggles and takes a seat, giving the paper to Zell.  
  
Zell walks up to the mike. Reading down the list, he turns to Selphie. "I have to say all the guy-guy stuff too?" Selphie nods and waves at him to turn around.Zell clears his throat. "Alright.We've got down the Zelphie, the Zellvine, the Zellstis,and the Zellnoa. Theres also the Squell, with Squall, the Zeifer, with Seifer, the Zeraijin, with Raijin, and with Fujin, the Zellfuu. As Selphie said, a lot of these pairs have never been done, but if anyone feels like trying, it'll have a name. And another thing. There are two more likely pairs with me that are not on this paper. The Librarian with the pigtail-" Zell waves to her in the crowd "-and any cafeteria lady willing to smuggle me hotdogs!! Thank you B-Garden, and good night!!"   
((A/N: I dunno why he did that...Its like two in the morning here and he just did it.And it suits him...ne?))  
  
Everyone looks on in silence as Squall walks up to the mike. As he looks over the paper with disinterest, you see Rinoa scamper off stage and into the crowd. A snicker is heard from above, and all look up to see the exausted fanfic writer chuckling to herself and typing in a mad frenzy that can only be because of Surge. ((A/N: please see disclaimer)) Squall looks at her warily, aware that her Chibi-posse was there too and that Chibi-Seifer was laughing . Squall began to read anyhow, seeing as he has no power over the crazed author. "Squallfie, Squalvine, Quall or Squallstis, Squinoa,and the Squell, In addition-" "no No NO!" Rinoa is spotted in the crowd with a megaphone.Squall sees and looks up at the author. "NO." he says, and begins to climb the stage. "What are you doing??" cries Rinoa through the megaphone, and with his gunblade to Chibi-Fuu's throat, he forces me to re-write the paragraph.  
  
"Squallfie, Squalvine, Quall or Squallstis, Squinoa,and the Squell, In addition, there is the Squallfer, with Seifer, the Squalljin, with Raijin, and the Squallfuu, with Fujin." Squall sits down and resumes silence. Rinoa whimpers, casting despairing glances down at the broken megaphone in her lap.  
((A/N: someone tells me Squall wouldn't stand to recite Shakespeare, even for Rinoa with a megaphone, so, I was advised to change it. Even if I had to make him OOC. Sooo, just pretend he was possessed by Seifer! The "Say it with feeling!!" version of my story will be up to your imaginations.))  
  
Seifer steps up to the mike."Ive got only two to say, the Seifuu, with Fujin, and the Raijfer, with Raijin." A person looking mysteriously like me in a trenchcoat and plaster-on-moustache, holds up a writing pad and declares "Repeat 'em so's I can write 'em down!!" Seifer sneers "Sure, the Selpher, the Seifvine, the Quiefer, the Seifnoa,the Zeifer, and the Squallfer." the imitation me had dissapeared, and Seifer returned to his seat.  
  
"Do I have to say them all?" Raijin asks. The Garden body nods as a whole. "Fine.But that isn't nice, ya know? Ermm, Selphjin, Raijvine, Quisjin, Raijnoa, Zeraijin, Squalljin, Raijfer, and me and Fujin here is a Raijfuu.And I don't see the point of this, ya know? I'm never gonna be with any of these people, ya know?" Raijin takes a seat.Fujin stands "PREVIOSLY MENTIONED" she says, and begins to walk off the stage. "NUH-UH!!" yells Selphie. "You hafta repeat everything!" Fujin sighs "ACCEPTABLE. SELFUU. FUUVINE. QUISFUU. RINFUU. ZELLFUU. SQUALLFUU. SEIFUU. RAIJFUU. FINISHED?" Selphie nods and all leave the stage. She bows a second time and scurries off. After which a band comes on and the garden Festival begins again. The End!!!  



End file.
